Anal activities in sex are less talked about, and make many people feel more than a little uncomfortable. This is mainly because of the taboos about the butt, of course, and not because there's anything wrong with it, per se.

Anal sex is not always the #1 favorite, but it is certainly high on the list for many people, and can be a fun change of pace for almost anyone who isn't bothered too much by the taboos against it.

What makes anal sex feel good and different?

In fact, there is a unique form of pleasure to be gotten from anal stimulation, for a guy or girl. Anal sex is enjoyable because of the rich body of nerve endings in the anus. For men this is because of the prostate, which is an important sexual organ and can only be directly stimulated through anal contact, and on women it is because the rectum (sorry if you're not looking for technical terms, but I need to be specific) shares a wall with the vagina, and the sexual nerves are actually closer on that side, making the sensation different and sometimes actually stronger.

What can I do to enjoy anal sex?

If it's your first time
First, it may be a difficult subject to bring up, if you and your lover haven't already discussed it. It's that taboo thing, again. There is a reasonable chance that they have already thought of it, and were afraid to bring it up themselves, but there's also a chance the idea would horrify them. Hopefully your relationship already involves open, relaxed, and frank discussion about sex, or else you probably should work on that long before you worry about testing the waters on this subject.

Second, the anus really isn't meant to be entered. Don't get me wrong; humans aren't really meant to fly, either...I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying you have to bear these little facts in mind. One should be very gentle when experimenting with these things.

An important example is never...ever try it on your lover for the first time without them expecting it, especially if we're talking about penetration with a penis or similarly large object. Trust me on this, please. If you've ever had a really big, hard BM (Bowel Movement), that was really painful, that's nothing compared to being caught off-guard by this. Not only are there better ways to go about it, but you may never get the chance to try again, if they're upset enough.

To prepare yourself for anal sex, the first thing to do is learn to relax. This may include a hot bath beforehand, an erotic massage or even just a good workout. Remember that the sphincter muscles around the anus will not allow things to pass through easily unless you relax and take it slow. Do not start with something the size of a dildo or penis. Start with either: a) your partner's finger or b) a small anal toy, we suggest the Ivory Anal T Vibe. The toy provides a unique sensation and many couples consider it an exciting addition to the bedroom. If you're more comfortable with a partner's finger then start with that. The basic principle is to start small and work your way up.

One partner should lubricate or place a lubricated condom over his or her finger. Take the finger and arouse the surface of the anus, perhaps making small circular motions as you go. Always pay attention to your partner to indicate whether or not he or she feels comfortable. Slowly attempt to push your finger (or plug) slightly inside the anus. Do not use force - stop immediately if your partner complains of discomfort. If it is difficult to enter the anus, you probably need more lubrication. The first time you try this, the receiver may feel a bit of pain. Anal sex is not for everyone, and if you feel uncomfortable stop and perhaps try again later. Think of this process as training for later anal encounters. Even a finger can provide intense stimulation when it is inserted in the anus.

Once you have tried penetration with a finger a number of times then you can move towards something that is a bit larger. First you have to decide on what type of anal stimulation that you enjoy. Do you enjoy the movement of a finger, the fullness of a plug, or the feeling of entry and withdrawal? You may wish to proceed by being penetrated with your partner's penis or by using an anal toy. For those who enjoy the feeling of vibration but would like to work your way into it, try an anal stimulator which are designed specifically for this purpose. If a stimulator interests you, we suggest the Catalina Collection blue anal stimulator. This beautiful blue anal stimulator has multi-speed vibrating. It's made of soft jelly and an has a training tip. You won't find a better stiumator. We're confident you'll love the feel of this toy.

Cleanliness and Safety

As always, this matters more to some people than others, but in this case it's a more popular issue than with just about any other kind of sex, for obvious reasons. First, having bathed more recently than the last BM is a good idea.

It's a good idea to have a bowel movement an hour or so before, to ensure that nothing is encountered during any penetration (unless you're into that, I suppose), and then bathe the area.

Anal sex can be a perfectly safe activity as long as you take the necessary precautions. You should remember that your anus and rectum do not have their own natural lubrication nor the kind of elasticity the mouth and vagina enjoy. That is why anal sex must be practiced with care. There are three things that should always be used whenever anal penetration is taking place; lubrication, condoms and common sense.

Liberal amounts of lubrication are necessary because the rectal wall can be quite sticky and is subject to tearing and lesions if not kept lubricated (we recommend Catalina Collection Personal Lubricant) In addition, the anus and rectum are narrow, so lubrication is needed to press inside smoothly.

Oil-based lubricants are a great insulator for anal contact. They tend to cover up any potential (or simply feared) smell and transfer of icky stuff. If you use Vaseline/petrolatum, for example, the odds are that a simple wiping off with a dry cloth will result in finger/penis/whatever seeming to be just about perfectly clean. Again, this may not matter to some people, but it's worth mention because it is crucial to others.

To some people, enemas may seem like overkill, or even to be grosser than not having one before anal sex anyway. But they certainly do bear mention, in case this sounds like a good idea to you (feeling comfortable with things like cleanliness are potentially very important). This is especially worth considering in actual penis penetration, since one gets a lot deeper than even the most dilligent bathing process is going to be able to clean. But it is still not a really common practice, even for actual penetration. Of course a few people even find enemas to be sexually exciting themselves.

Condoms are another necessity. Enemas, douches and other cleaners will not be able to get all the germs and bacteria out of the rectum. Not only is anal sex facilitate the transmission of STDs better than any other form of sex, it can also cause urinary tract infections and other bacterial diseases. Latex protection is essential, and can offer additional slickness.

Finally, use your common sense. The rectal wall curves and is thin so long, hard objects can tear your insides. Don't wear any jewelry on your hands, and cut your fingernails if you are going to put your finger in someone's anus. Most importantly, respect your body. Don't push the limits and go only as far as you feel comfortable.

Positions to try

The best positions for anal sex depend largely on what stage you and your partner are at in your experiences. Rear entry or the "doggie style" position is the one position most people associate with anal sex. However, rear entry allows a penis or anal toy to penetrate most deeply, and may not be the best choice for the beginner. A good starting position is the "spoons" position, with each partner laying on his or her side, one behind the other. This prevents the penetrating partner from going too fast, and allows complete control over penetration. It also brings you closer to your partner, making it easier to judge his or her reactions to what you're doing.

Another position for anal sex is a variation of the missionary position. The receiving partner lays on his or her back while the penetrating partner approaches from on top. The penetrating partner lifts up the calves or shins of the receiver, exposing the anus. This can be an especially intimate position, with both partners facing each other. The 'top' partner can masturbate the other and is open to massage and cuddling as well.

Finally, rear entry offers another possibility for anal penetration. This position allows the penetration to be the deepest, and permits the receiver to better open the anus for entry. Rear entry doesn't offer the kind of intimacy or ease of communication that the other positions do, but for more advanced lovers, can offer the greatest amount of thrusting and penetration.

There are many more positions and techniques to try. Many people discover new and exciting positions through experimentation, and most people find the one that best suits them. Good communication is the key to such discovery, and a manual or video can help as well.

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