Tips for Women

• Act like you want to be there. A woman who's performing simply because she has to is the number-one passion killer.
• Don't bite (unless he asks for it). Keep your teeth covered at all times with your lips.
• Don't be too rough. Yanking back the foreskin, sucking too hard, pumping up and down like you're trying to draw water from a dry well ... it ain't nice!
• Educate yourself. Ask your boyfriend what he likes, your girlfriends what work for them and pay attention to sex scenes in books and movies. The more you find out and read up about, the better.
• Don't act as if semen is poison. You don't have to swallow, but you don't need to run out of the room either. Don't leave him in the lurch -- switch to using your hand or let him leave a little mess elsewhere on your body.
• Lay back and do ... nothing. NOT trying for an orgasm is the surest way to have one.

• Let him know how much you love it. Give him loads and loads of feedback. Tell him how fantastic he is.
• Make sure you smell and taste great. Shower beforehand, and watch the garlic consumption. (Yup, it doesn't just show up on your breath.)
• Ask him to make love to you. Say, ''Honey, I want to feel your tongue on me''. Push his head down. Make it very clear you'd like it more often.
• Colour therapists recommend slipping into anything red to incite passion. But avoid lavender or green, as these shades will send you straight to sleep.
• Testosterone levels are highest when we first wake up, and they decrease as the day progresses, which means your best orgasms are most likely to happen when you make love first thing in the morning.
• Ask him why he doesn't do it as often as you'd like. There might be a good reason, like his tongue gets tired or his neck gets cramped -- all easily fixed by different techniques or different positions.
• Only when you have tried all of the above and talked about it are you allowed to point out, gently but firmly, that it seems awfully unfair for you to try so hard to give him pleasure if he's not going to return the favor. Again, I don't support making threats, but it is certainly acceptable to point out the unfairness of it all.

Tips for Men

• Of all the places you can park your hands during intercourse, her hips are one of the best.
• If she's on top, use your hands to help guide her as she thrusts. It's like power steering--she's still in control but doesn't have to work as hard.
• If you're on top, reach under her and use your hands to grasp her hips and lift her pelvis toward you. Your thrusts will be deeper. "It also helps her feel as if the two of you are working together, instead of you just doing your thing on top of her," says Mark Elliott, Ph.D., a psychologist in Columbus, Ohio.
• Try The Venus next time you give some oral stimulation. Alternate between lightly nibbling the clitoris, and flicking your tongue rapidly back and forth over the area. The result is a peel-her-off-the-ceiling kind of orgasm.
• Give each other an alternative orgasm by stimulating one of these acupressure hot spots: use the heel of the hand to gradually increase pressure in the centre of the crease where the thigh joins the front of the torso, rub the area between the mid-thigh and the genitals, or use a forefinger and index finger to massage the temples in gentle circular motions.

• Time your foreplay. A Kinsey report found that only 7.7 per cent of women whose lovers spent 21 minutes or longer on pre-penetration fun and games failed to reach orgasm.
• Resist the urge to make love for a few days, and then set an exact date and time to break the fast. In the meantime, tease each other mercilessly with deep kissing, erotic massage, and light stroking, especially on your favourite hot spots. Sometimes, building anticipation is the most glorious foreplay of all.
• Ears are an underrated erogenous zone. The lobe and the small area behind the shell have a hot line to the nerves. Stimulation from a darting tongue or a light, probing finger can be a powerful aphrodisiac - especially when combined with heavy breathing into the ear. Scientists call the phenomenon the auriculogenital reflex, and trace its origins to a nerve in the ear canal. Some women find it so exciting they actually climax from it.
• Touching. The reason why studies find that only 30 per cent of women orgasm during intercourse is because women really need stimulation to the clitoris. But this little magic button is not a mini-penis. The best touch? It's one that moves around your love button rather than one that applies pressure directly onto it.

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